Black Butler: A New Game
by Syarns
Summary: There is a new master in town. And a starving Sebastian is just the butler for the job.
1. Chapter 1

**Alanna**

* * *

"My Lady, it's time to wake."

Sebastian's voice wove its way through my dreams. The ropes of the nightmare parted beneath it, much like the gossamer strands of a web. Strands that seemed so flimsy in the light, but could trap you until the dream had it's way. Until it milked you for as much terror and heartache as it could.

I waited for a moment, knowing he wouldn't speak again until I sat up. It was almost like a game we played, had we played such silly games. There was silence as my pulse slowed and breathing became more relaxed, until the blades quit piercing my flesh. One last shiver and it was done.

I could greet the day.

I parted my eyes and of course, he stood there, blocking the rays of light that shown through the Venetian lace of the curtains. Nary a beam touched me till my eyes grew accustomed to the gold.

Such a fine butler. The best in the land. I should know. I payed the exorbitant price for him. Hmm, perhaps I spoke to soon, as the cost was still to be paid. But I would. Gladly.

Sitting up, I kept my sheet pulled up to my chest as he wrapped my dressing gown around me. Typically, this would be frowned upon in polite society. In the 'fine' society that I had been raised in. But that 'fine' society had dissolved around me, much like my dreams beneath his voice.

I no longer gave a damn what one would think of me. Dying had a way of doing that a person, polite or not.

"Earl Grey, and with it, this morning's news." His eyes glanced into mine before lowering.

He verged on impudence. Had I been a noblewoman, perhaps I would have slapped him, railed at him, for daring look at me. And while, by all outward appearances, I was still that woman, I wasn't. Eyes didn't hurt. Eyes didn't strip you of dignity. Eye's didn't steal from you the thing you cherished most. At least, not if you chose not to care.

And I didn't. Not anymore.

"Thank you, Sebastian." I said, easing my legs over the side of the bed.

With a bow, he held out his arm and closed his eyes.

Unable to help myself, I took the offered arm and stood, arranging my bedclothes. The touch wasn't what one might think. He was my weapon. And much like one who adores the sublime edge on a finely honed blade, I couldn't resist the feel of him. My hand on his arm was a thumb across the glinting edge of sharpened steel.

I longed for the day when I could use him. Thrust him into the ones who hurt me. Watch as he claimed their lives, much like when they watched the end of mine.

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

Was every master to call upon me to be in the throes of revenge?

Ahh, but who was I to question? As long as the price was paid, the reasons should be of no consequence. But there was that one master… My last one. Revenge-ridden. Pitiable. Pure.

I had been too patient with him, too caring. And in the end, for naught. Now, here I was, starving. And for some hellish reason, agreeing to this noble cause.

But it only took one look into my Lady's face to remember why I agreed. Why I put myself back into this demeaning position. Determination and resolve shone like diamonds from the sable of her eyes. There was not one doubt in my mind that I would feast again.

Alois was not here, himself consumed. Claude was dead, by my own hand. Hannah buried with him. There was only Alanna Livingston and I. The two of us. In this grotesque monstrosity of a home. Two beings.

I had to admit, I sometimes missed Baldroy, Mey-Rin and Finnian. Even the somewhat incomprehensible Tanaka. Sometimes. They had helped to alleviate the endless monotony of the days. Their 'help' more helpful than I cared to give voice to.

At the very least, with them, I had things to do, clean up after their exuberant efforts, assign them chores that I knew I would later have to do myself.

Being what I was, simply one hell of a butler, I found myself lacking something, and what I discovered, with much dismay, that something was simple contact.

I left my young mistress, sitting silent with her tea and the paper. There was still meals to be planned and visits to be arranged, though those were very few and far between

As usual, I found myself drumming my fingers on the butchers table in the kitchen when a sound, seldom heard here, echoed though the cavernous space.

A bell.

A summons.

What in the bloody hell?

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

I knew that face.

My breath stopped. My heart burned.

The scar that traveled down his cheek. Reaching blindly, I found the cord to call for my steel, my saving grace.

The burn in my heart turned into a torrent of flames.

I found one of them.

Lost.

I was lost.

Pain. Shadows. Shining steel. Red. So much red. Agony. Death. Screams. Mine.

Amber now, filling my vision. Erasing the licking yellow and streaming red.

"Hush, my Lady. I am here."

Words. So familiar. He said the same thing. 'Hush, my lady,' Leering face as the steel shown red in his fist. 'It's almost over.'

Warm hands on my flesh.

"Mistress, I am here. Tell me what to do."

There was my blade. Calling to me.

Black hair fell over whiskey-colored eyes. No scar. Sebastian. He wouldn't hurt me. At least not yet. Contract.

"Him." I managed to get out. I couldn't be the fine lady, couldn't even pretend to try. With a hand, I pushed the paper at my faithful butler.

"The scarred one, my lady?"

I nodded, the movement jerky, like a puppet with a string or two broken. That was all I could manage while keeping memories at bay.

Looking up, I met his calm gaze.

"You are coping well." His voice made it more of a statement than a question.

"Of course." I had fallen apart before his arrival. Couldn't show that I was still ripped at the seams. "You are late."

"My apologies, Mistress. I am unaccustomed to the sound of the bells here. It will not happen again."

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

Very few masters have had such conviction, such resolve.

At least that was what she wanted me to see. But I knew the truth.

I could see exactly how devastated she was at finding the image staring back at her from the paper. The fine lines of her slightly up-turned nose flared ever so slightly with her breath. The brown eyes that met mine firmly held only a trace of the terror that haunted her nights.

But that was me.

Anyone else gazing upon her would simply see a young woman, calm and collected, with the faintest hint of ire at the delayed presence of her butler.

"Have you been able to learn something of the man from the information presented in the news?"

Her eyes left mine and fell to the offending item on table. "Only one thing of import." She said before looking out the window. Her eyes fell unseeing over the complicated labyrinth of hedges. I knew her gaze was drawn in.

"He will be in London for a fortnight." Her voice was low, distant.

"Are you having second thoughts, My Lady?"

That got her attention. Honey hair flew as her head spun to face me. "Never, demon. You shall have your payment. Keep me alive long enough to do what I must and our contract will be fulfilled."

"My payment is not a concern, Mistress. Simply your state of mind."

She rose to her feet, looking for all the world a noblewoman. "Were this a normal arrangement, I would have your job."

I could feel the smile start and I did nothing to stop it. "Alas, this is not a normal arrangement, madam."

She turned her back to me and her head lowered. "No. Tis not. Normality was taken from me, wasn't it." This wasn't a question.

We both knew that answer.

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

Normal.

That was simply a word now. Sounds strung together to form syllables. It held no meaning for me. It was lost in blood and pain, in screams and death.

Most of the world thought me buried. And by all rights, I should have been. It was only through hushed whispers among the servants my parents had when I was growing, that I still lived. Whispers that they had no idea the lonely little girl heard as she hovered in hallways. Always on the outside. Rarely included.

Whispers of a demon, who for a price, could see one's fondest desires come true. Oh, but the price was monstrous. At least I thought so at the time.

Seemed laughable now.

I could feel his hands on me now, running through my hair. He was pinning it up, piling it high on my head. It was time for the bath.

As he dropped those hands to my shoulders, he spoke.

"Are you ready, my Lady?"

This part of my day was never easy. And it shamed me that he knew this.

"Yes, I am." With a deep breath, I held my head high and turned from the window. He bowed and held out his arm. This time I wouldn't touch it. It was enough to know that he was near.

Silently, I led the way to the bathing room.

We had been through this enough to almost be comfortable around him as he slid the robe from my shoulders. The damned fashions that women were supposed to wear made it a necessity to have someone there to help. As I was dead to most of the world, it was Sebastian that this chore fell to.

His hands never lingered too long and he was completely professional as he helped me to disrobe. And as always, I refused to look down. They would not be going anywhere.

Scars.

Scars I didn't earn, didn't deserve. But I couldn't pity myself. No, It wasn't that I couldn't. I wouldn't. To do so would be to fall into despair. And despair never solved anything.

Only cold, rational, unfeeling logic.

And now I had a starting point.

I had a name.

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

I was impressed, I had to admit.

She was getting better at this. It wasn't my presence that bothered her, much to my chagrin.

No, it was her scars. In the early days of our contract, she fought against me seeing them, despite knowing it was me that tended her wounds and brought her back to health. It was only with me arguing that it would be hampering my duties that she finally relented.

As stubborn as Master Phantomhive, she was.

Ahh, that pain was, at long last, becoming more bearable. That loss, finally, seeming more distant.

The famous unfulfilled contract. Though I performed my duties superbly, my payment was stolen. Cast away by the whims of an addled boy.

My feelings for the young master was as close as a demon could ever come to love. And one could say mine was… unrequited.

Due to the nature of contracts and the fact that Alois was sharing my Lord's body, when Alois fulfilled his contract with Hannah, she granted him his wish. His wish was that Claude nor I could ever touch Lord Phantomhive's soul. Thus, it was locked away, turning him into the very thing I am.

But I learned, didn't I. Emotions have no place in a business transaction.

Even when the summoner screams in the middle of the night, a good butler holds himself stoic. Wasn't his place to offer comfort. When she hisses with pain from still healing wounds, from the tightening of her stays, one doesn't offer sympathies. And when the butler discovers his mistress in the nursery, holding a doll, tears streaming down her broken face, he certainly refrains from offering a shoulder to cry upon.

Evidently, I still had a bit of learning to do, as I was so entranced by my own thoughts, that when my Lady spoke, I almost didn't hear her.

"His name is Theodor Hutchins."

Her eyes met mine and there was an expression on her face that I had yet to see.

A smile.

The beauty of it took me aback, though I was careful not to show it. Such a simple curve to the lips. My own returned the curve as I silently vowed to see it more often.

That would be a most simple vow to keep.

A new game had begun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alanna**

* * *

Kneeling beside the tub, he picked up the pitcher and filled it with water. I closed my eyes as the warmth slid over my shoulders.

I could start planning.

There was a loosening in my shoulders as Sebastian ran the soapy cloth over those tight muscles.

Yes, I would start planning and the most thrilling idea of all was that I could finally use my weapon, my sword.

"Sebastian." I leaned forward, hugging my knees to my chest. The cloth dropped lower over the newly exposed skin. "It has begun."

"Yes, my Lady. Indeed it has."

I turned my head and watched as his hand trailed down my arm. He didn't wear his gloves when he bathed me, so as to not get them wet. His nails glistened darkly, but they were not what caught my attention. It was the seal, dark red against his surprisingly pale flesh.

I shifted, taking his hand in mine.

"Where is mine?" I asked, lightly tracing the beautiful mark that bound us.

There was a hesitation before he answered and I looked up to find him staring at the mark.

"There was a time, Mistress, that I believed the more noticeable the mark, the more tightly bound we were. I was wrong in that belief,"

"But I don't have the mark."

He eyes met mine and his smile was slightly condescending. "No, my mistress, you are mistaken. Just because you can't see something, does not mean it doesn't exist." He freed his hand and cupped my cheek, the intimacy of the gesture both comforting and confusing. "When you give me an order, you will find it."

I watched as his face once again became perfectly expressionless. The same face that I saw daily. It was then that I understood just how little I knew of him.

But, I wasn't supposed to care, was I?

"I shall leave you to the rest of your bath." He stood, movements as graceful as always. "I must lay out your attire for the day."

"Sebastian, would you prepare breakfast as well? I find I have an appetite this morning."

He looked at me for a moment and I was unable to understand the things I saw in his eyes.

"Yes, my Lady."

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

She wanted breakfast. How… odd.

A cup of tea was her morning meal. I hadn't the slightest idea as to what she would like for her breakfast. But I would figure it out. Because if a Phantom… No. I wasn't that any longer. I was the Livingston butler now.

I pulled the black dress from her wardrobe and laid it across her freshly made bed. Though she never left her manor, she never wore any other color. Perhaps, had I been human and lost what she did, maybe I would never wear another color. Though the time for mourning had passed, her heart was still grief-stricken. Which served me well.

That duty accomplished, I dashed to the kitchen. She would be ringing her bell soon, possibly. She was indeed as stubborn as my former master. I could easily see her drying herself and trying to tie her own corset. That would be humorous to bear witness to.

With no knowledge of her preferred meal, I chose a selection of different items. I would see which she took and then I would have the answer to this dilemma. Simple. I was putting the last plate on the cart to take to her room when the bell sounded.

She was quite unpredictable today. I would have to be sharp, if I were to perform my duties perfectly.

What was it about today? Could simply seeing the picture of one of her tormentors stir her blood this much?

Leaving the trolley outside her bedroom door, I made my way back to the bathing room. Pulling a towel from the stack on the shelf, I approached the tub. As per usual, she didn't stand until I had the towel spread and my face averted. She stepped from the tub and into the towel.

"We have much to discuss." She finally spoke.

"Indeed we do."

It was with quick methodical movements that I got her dry and into a dressing robe. With a nod, I followed her back to bedroom. She glanced at the trolley and then at me.

"Why do you think I would wish to dine in my room?"

"Simple logic. Since I have been in your service, you have rarely left this room. And never for a meal. Today seems to be a day of firsts, however, so my presumptions could be wrong."

Her lips curved again. Two smiles in one day. Could it be that my true home was freezing over?

"You are correct. However, I am not sure how I feel at being so predictable."

"Were, Mistress. You were predictable."

Her smile widened as she turned away from me and entered her room.

I helped her dress before bringing in the trolley. She was seated at her small table and looking out out the window when I returned to her side.

"Having never prepared breakfast for you, I was unsure as to what you would like. I brought you a selection that will help me in my duties."

I lifted the lid from various covered dishes and watched carefully as she pored over them.

"How did you choose?" She asked.

"They were some of my previous master's favorites."

"There seems to be a lot of him in the way you treat me." Her head lifted and I could see the question in the warm brown. "Do you typically make comparisons of such things?"

My laugh was only slightly bitter. "There is no possible way to make that comparison between you and him. A fully-grown woman, a small boy. Would you compare night versus day?"

Her hand, which had lifted to taste my offering, paused. "You devoured the soul of a child?"

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

"Devoured? No, I did no such thing."

Somehow, I dared not believe him. I could not get the image out of my thoughts. Yes, he was a demon. But a child?

"But you had a contract with him?" I asked.

"Yes. One very similar to yours." His eyes never left mine, almost as if he were daring me to pass judgment on his actions. Maybe he did not realize that I had already done so.

"Did you fail him then?"

"No, Mistress. I performed my duties perfectly. I obeyed every order. The contract was fulfilled." He turned away from me, head lowered. Could a demon feel pain? That was what I felt I was witnessing.

"Then you set him free." That seemed to be the logical explanation.

"Again, no, nothing so noble, though that would have been far more satisfying."

He faced me again and I jumped to my feet, my heart racing from the anger in his eyes. The amber glowed, as if the sun itself was shining from them. The panic surprised me, as I knew that he wouldn't, no, couldn't hurt me. Not as long as the contract held. I stumbled against the trolley in my wild attempt to escape from nothing but the fury I could feel.

"My Lady." He was instantly in front of me, barring my way. "Do not be alarmed." His hand stroked down my back, trying to calm the shivers that had taken hold of me. "My apologies. I had thought I could speak of it now. Once again, I was wrong."

He had never done this, tried to comfort me. For the second time in the day, I was confused by his actions. And again, I realized how little I actually knew of the demon that held me gently.

"Did we not have things to discuss? Things that do not involve my past?"

I straightened my spine and stepped away. "Yes, you are right. We need to start planning."

Trying to get control of my still thundering heart, I forced myself to reclaim my seat. I waved at the opposite chair. Sebastian sat and spoke. "What I don't understand, my Lady, is why you simply won't let me take care of them."

I was shaking my head before the words finished coming from him. "No, it has to be me. I have to do this. I need you to protect me, to keep me alive until I slay every last one of them, but I must do it myself."

"Can you take a life and remain unaffected by it?"

"Such concern, Sebastian."

The only reply to that was a slight tilt to the corners on his mouth.

"Yes." I said with utter conviction. "But I need you to help me in a few other ways."

"I shall obey any order you give, my Lady."

"I wish you to hire people. I would like to open up the house. I want the world to know that I live." I paused for a moment and met Sebastian's eyes. "I want them to know I still live."

There was a slight widening of his eyes and a slow exhale. "I see. You think they will come after you."

"Hope, Sebastian. I hope they come after me."

"You have a lot of faith in my being able to protect you." He said, head slightly tilted.

"I have something you want. Of course I have faith in you."

He gave me a nod. "I will keep you alive. A Livingston butler that can't do that much isn't worth his salt."

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

She was right. I would keep her alive. At all costs.

I had no choice.

The hunger ripped through me, burning, leaving me a hollow shell. Sometimes, during her long recovery, I was tempted, sorely tempted, to simply find someone, anyone, and feast on the dregs of London. As pitiful as most of the souls were, they could ease the ache, fill the emptiness.

And as always, the memory of my young master would arise. That pure, noble soul. And along with his memory, there was hers.

What she lost. No, what was stolen from her. The spirit to reclaim her life, even for revenge, was so strong, so… divine.

I wanted that to be my reward. Not some opium-addicted wastrel.

Yes, I would fulfill my contract. And this time, no one would interfere.

"There is one other thing I need from you, Sebastian."

"Anything within my considerable power, Mistress."

She smiled again, though this one was slightly bitter. "I wish for you to teach me how to take a life."

I knew this would arise. And I hated it. I wanted nothing to tarnish the gold that was her soul. But, I was hers to command, was I not? I could teach her to be brisk, methodical. Less tarnish that way. She didn't have to take the pleasure from it that I did.

Though, with this being revenge, that tea boat may already be on it's way back to China.

"Yes, my Lady."


	3. Chapter 3

**I apologize for the delay and the length of this chapter. Life has gotten busy. With Camp Nano coming up, I am prepping myself to do a LOT of editing. But just so my lovely readers know, this story is also a part of my camp project.**

 **I am going to try to keep updating at the very least, a chapter a week, though I hope for more.**

 **Again, my apologies!**

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

I resumed my morning meal and watched Sebastian as he watched me, the things I chose. He really was quite spectacular. Performing his job perfectly, if with a touch of insolence. I could live with that.

I smiled. I could live with it, yes. For now.

Breakfast finished, he helped me to dress before clearing away the remaining food.

"When you have finished here, please meet me in the study. I need to find out exactly what has been going on in my… hiatus."

"As you wish."

He had tried to get me to care about what was going on in the outside world for many months. However, I had chosen to wallow in my self-pity. But seeing that face… Knowing that he was out there, free to wonder around, free to steal happiness from others. Well, that was like a dash of cold water to the face. Accomplishing when even Sebastian could not.

I felt alive, for the first time in a very long time. And while it may have been for a deadly purpose, my steps were light as I hurried to the study.

Revenge. A dish best served cold.

Indeed it would be.

I wondered if he even remembered me. I would make sure he did before I did to him what he did to me.

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

My studies of the morning finished, I now knew what she preferred to eat. I knew what it took to rouse her. To put life in the beautiful face.

I stopped. Why would I consider her beautiful? Could one's meal be considered beautiful? Of course it could. Aesthetics were just as important to meals as the taste of the food itself.

Though she may appear lovely now, I couldn't let that take away from the promise of payment.

I also had to be honest with myself. The idea of the game being set in motion excited me as well. One step closer to the goal.

The months of waiting for her hideous wounds to heal, those on the outside, had let the inner ones fester. But now she was ready to start healing those.

I gathered her journal with the appointments she rarely bothered to attend. There was no judgment on my part. Those that knew she lived were few, and the more they stayed away from the manor, the easier it was to keep that ruse.

But know, she wanted to strip away that lie. In order to draw out her attackers, she would re-enter life.

Teach her how to take a life. I would, but I would also be prepared to step in should my presence become necessary.

I found her in the chair behind the desk. Her back was to me and she was staring out over the garden again.

"It there something amiss in the shrubbery, my Lady?" I asked, approaching the desk.

"No, Sebastian. But you know that, don't you?" She turned toward me and the smile was still entrancing. "How bored you must be, in this monotonous country life. To attend the gardens yourself, you must truly be at wits end."

"No, mistress. I find enough to keep me occupied. It's easy when there is only you and I. Always something to do."

"Mmm." Was her answer. I couldn't begin to guess what was going on behind her eyes. This was a day of firsts and I wasn't going to learn anything by making assumptions. Patience was what this situation called for. "Be that as it may, it is a new day. Things will be different soon. I have already told you that I would like for you to hire people. Whoever is needed to make this place run smoothly."

"I have already been considering individuals. When do you need them?"

"As soon as possible." She held out her hand for the journal.

For the next hour, we pored over the entries. Appointments kept and skipped. Finally, she arrived on a guest list for her first event in over a year.

"Sebastian." She called to me as I was about to leave the room.

"Yes, my Lady?" I turned back to look at her.

"I need a dressmaker."

Finally, something other than black. This, more than anything, proved how serious she was.

It was with some reverence that I knelt. "Yes, my Lady."

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

After he left, I spent some time considering the past year. While I could think it recuperating, much of it was also remembering what I had lost. Remembering and trying to forget.

My husband, the one with hidden vices. The payment of those vices came through me. I would have been happy to have given money for the payment, had I but known. Payment given and then him, my once beloved, sent to a clinic to be cured of the devils that rode him.

How had his addiction started? How had I not noticed? There were some things that were evident, a shortened temper, some nights spent in London. Those grew more and more frequent, and silly me, thinking he was working so hard. Stress. That was what I had decided to be the shortened temper.

Then there was that last argument. The slap that I could still feel. I was nagging him, he said. Wouldn't I shut up, for heaven's sake? When did I become such a burden?

And there I was, cowering on the floor is utter shock. My dear, dear Louis, standing over me, trembling in his rage. I prayed he wouldn't hit me again, or, if he did, please not my swollen belly. Our unborn babe didn't deserve his wrath.

I watched, as his fury dissipated and there he stood, grief-stricken.

He fled into the night, leaving me a confused mother-to-be. What happened to our life? What happened to him?

It was with that sense of confusion that I followed him later that night to our London townhouse.

And that was where it happened.

With a shake, I brought myself back to the present.

Yes, I was a coward then. No longer.

I would practice what Sebastian taught me. I would become the best pupil. Though, he was my secret weapon. Should I fail, he would succeed.

It was in our contract.

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

Finding servants was going to prove difficult, unless I left the manor. And while she seemed to be coming around, I wasn't sure if she was ready for that step.

No matter. I would simply leave tonight, after she fell asleep. She never called me after she turned in for the evening. But I would still need to hurry. This was a day of many new things.

I would simply go to London and visit a friend that could recruit for me and send the prospects to me to interview.

Easy, for a butler of my caliber.

That problem dealt with, I turned my attention to the servant's quarters. I took pleasure in the dusting and changing of linens. I would finally have things to oversee, people to command. People to kill.

I briefly wondered if their names were already written in the Book of the Dead? Would it be Grell to come collect their Cinematic Records? He would be a familiar face, but was I ready to deal with his 'affections' again?

Though I had to admit, he would be better than Will. That reaper was much to uptight.

Oh dear, I had been sidetracked by my thoughts.

With a stern talking to, I resumed making the quarters livable.


	4. Chapter 4

**To those still reading this, I can't thank you enough. I know it has been forever since I posted anything and you have my apologies. To those that have favorited, followed, commented, my most sincere apologies. I lost a great many people around me in a very short amount of time and basically, lost my will to write. I have recently found that will and here I am.**

 **I also want to say, I have not read the manga, only watched the anime, so, if there are any inconsistencies, please forgive me. I really hope you enjoy this and please feel free to comment. Thank you so much!**

 **Without further ado...**

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

Having tidied the rooms that would soon be in use, I sent the messenger off with two letters. One of these was to an acquaintance that had helped supply information to my former master. The second was to the dressmaker that Lady Elizabeth preferred to use. As soon as I closed the door behind the departing figure, I regretted my decision.

Surely in all of London, one could find a multitude of satisfactory dressmakers. I didn't have to use the one of the young master's fiance. Only I knew that she worked quickly. My Mistress wanted the beginning of a new wardrobe within two weeks.

And if a butler happened to pick up on some information about a certain couple, well, information was knowledge, wasn't it?

As for the Undertaker, as one who worked in the dark, he would be able to refer me to certain individuals. I needed more than simply servants. I needed them to be… special. While I was supremely talented in protecting my employers', there would be slight chances that I wouldn't always be by her side.

Like when I stood by the door, having a conversation with myself on the merits of my choices.

Lunch needed to be prepared and I was lazing about, second-guessing myself.

Enough of that.

Dashing to the kitchen, I made quick work of the meal. She usually only wanted the smallest of meals, thin cucumber sandwiches for lunch. But, this being a day of firsts, I added to the platter a dish of olives imported from Italy, thin slices of local cheese, and a small bowl of grapes and strawberries. A cup of fresh custard finished the trolley.

Ah, but there was a drop of custard on the silver dish. How unsightly. Unfitting for the Lady Livingston, I cleaned the offending spot.

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

Now that the time had come to start taking back my life, I found the idleness frustrating. My fingers trembled, wanting to wrap themselves around the hilt of a blade. But I wasn't ready for that. As a 'noble' lady, I never had a reason to pick up a dagger, much less a sword. Though it seemed as if my body knew what to do.

All I had to do was close my eyes and I could see me sliding the shining steel into warm flesh. Just the idea made my breath quicken and my heart race.

Sebastian. He would teach me.

Just thinking his name, there came a knock on the study door.

"Yes," I said, bidding him to enter.

The door opened and there he stood. My teacher.

"Lunch is ready, my Lady." He said with a bow. "Where would you prefer to dine?"

Food. Why did people care so much about it? It kept us alive. It was such a bother. What I really wanted was to begin learning. But, I still wasn't strong enough.

"I would prefer not to, but, as I am reentering society, I suppose I should once again acquaint myself with the dining room."

The curve of his lip convinced me that he was laughing at me, though no sound escaped him.

"Do you find something amusing?" I asked.

"Once again making comparisons, my Lady. This seems to be becoming a habit." He gave a small shake of his head.

"Comparisons? As to what?"

"My last master once threw his dessert in my face because it was bland. And you have no desire to eat, taste means nothing to you." His smile grew a touch wider. "I will forget everything I learned if this continues." His face grew emotionless once more. "By your leave, I will return in a moment. I must take the trolley downstairs. I shall be back directly."

"There is no need. I do remember where the table is." Where was this pride coming from? "I can find my way, Sebastian."

There was that hesitation again, eyes unreadable. "Very good, my Lady." He bowed and left me.

With a sigh, I stood. While eating was a bother, it would be something to do to pass the time.

Time. While I was looking for anything and everything to make it pass quickly, I was also hurrying toward my death.

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

I had just finished setting the last dish on the end of the long table when she walked in. Silently I pulled out her chair and held it for her. She sat and I adjusted her. She needed to eat more. The weight different was hardly noticeable.

I removed the silver dome and set it to the side before taking my place one step behind and to the side of her chair. From here, I could see if she needed her tea refilled, but remain out of sight.

"Sebastian," she said. "Come to where I can see you."

"That isn't polite in society, my Lady."

"I don't care." She said, twisting in her seat to look at me. "I don't want to feel alone."

How could I argue with this? I took a place beside her before saying "As long as the contract hold, you will never be alone."

"Ah yes, the contract." She took a sip of her tea before picking at her plate.

"My Lady, you really should eat more. You will need your strength. Or, do you not find the taste pleasing?" I jested with her about her not tasting anything, but could it be me all along? Was I really forgetting everything?

"Taste…" She trailed off, staring at the offering on the table. "What does food taste like to you?" She asked.

"My Lady?" Why would she want to know that?

"Answer me, Sebastian." She met my eyes again. "Answer me and I will eat."

Did she want to play a game? I could oblige, though she might not like the answers.

"As you wish."

"And be honest." She said.

"I detest liars, Mistress. I would never stoop to become one."

She remained silent, keeping her steady gaze on me. "As a demon, I cannot really taste human food. I know when something is supposed to be sweet, or savory, and I can get a sense of when something is supposed to be something, but I don't taste food like humans."

"Interesting." She said before turning away and taking a dainty bite of her sandwich.

I had no reply, as I didn't know what that meant, so I remained quiet. I watched as she finished that then plucked an olive from the dish.

"So, you can't tell that olives are as salty as tears or as briney as the sea?"

I couldn't say anything as those images rushed through my mind. "No, my Lady. I cannot, however, with that description, I can imagine it." Had anyone ever done that before? Described something for me in terms I could understand?

My cooking had been praised, lauded before masses of people, but never in terms that made much sense in terms of taste.

"Would you like one?" She asked, holding an olive out to me.

"Thank you, but no. I have no need for food."

"Ah, yes. My soul." She turned from me and daintily ate the green fruit.

What could she be thinking? Why did I care?

"You can't know that I eat those sandwich because they are a bland as a sheet of paper." She said after finishing the fruit. Placing her napkin on the plate, she looked up at me. "I am finished."

"The custard, my Lady."

She frowned before looking back at it. Picking up the dish and a spoon, she faced me again, expressionless. "What taste does a soul have?"

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

His eyes widened every so slightly as he hesitated. Would he answer me?

Finally, his insolent smile returned and I knew that he would. "You are the first, in thousands, to ask me that."

I waited, making myself eat the sweet, creamy, thick custard. Before my desperate need for revenge, this would taste like ambrosia. As it was now, it had as much flavor as water.

He gave a slight chuckle. "There is no way I could explain."

I was about to object when he continued.

"Most of the souls I have devoured have tasted… dark. Weak. Bitter. The souls of those with nothing left to fight for. The souls of those who only wished for me to get them more money for more drugs, more drink. They taste like tea, that has been steeped far too long in too much water. No body to them, no life."

He turned from me and took a step away.

Thinking he was leaving, I rose, pushing away the chair.

Turning back to me, he rushed to my side."You shame me, Mistress. Allow me to help you."

"It's fine," I said, but taking his arm. "Please continue."

He gave me a sidelong glance and smiled. "As you wish. But first, where would you like to go?"

"To the garden. I find I would like to be outside. To see the sun."

He gave me a nod. "The fresh air will do you good."

"You wouldn't be trying to change the subject, would you?" I asked and he gave another of those brief laughs.

"No, my Lady, I am simply trying to find the words."

He was silent until we got to the small garden. The white lilies I had planted, then tended on my own, were in full bloom. He had taken good care of them.

He helped me to sit, though I didn't need it, then straightened.

"Please continue," I said once more.

"My young master… His soul…"

I wasn't used to seeing my weapon at a loss for words.

"It was special. The trauma he had been through, the revenge he took, all of these were like the finest spices from India, Spain, the Orient. The purity he held onto." He was staring out over the maze of hedges. "Then it was stolen." When he looked back to me, his eyes were the glowing magenta of the night I summoned him. I wasn't afraid this time, however. "I refuse to go back to the dredges of humanity, though they are plentiful."

"What about mine?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Sebastion**

* * *

Her curiosity peaked mine. Why would she ask that? That knowledge would serve no purpose. In fact, it could send one into despair, perhaps even madness.

The answer coming from the demon that was going to savor it. Indeed, my curiosity was well and truly roused.

I would answer her, as well a butler of my stature should. Obeying everything from a simple request to a heartfelt order. But how deep should I delve while granting her order? What details should I include? Did I want the calm in her eyes? Or would I relish the fear… the panic… as she realized the immeasurable pleasure I would get from devouring her?

Humans were dull, infinitely boring, in their predictability. However, the few times they acted counter to that predictable nature, made them tolerable. That surprise made the tediousness of my days bearable.

My young master. He surprised me at every turn.

I had believed I had my Mistress sorted out. I felt, despite her resolve during the making of the contract, that she, when the time came, would wish for me to deliver the killing blow. Which would have been fine. I do enjoy a bit of blood play. The length of time she took to recover, her hesitance to speak. All of these things spoke to regret, to me feeling as if she wished she had simply died.

Most times she seemed as fragile as the thinnest glass, barely a bump and she would shatter. But as time moved on, I found I was wrong. That was when she was at her strongest.

"My Lady." I bowed before meeting her eyes. I could do nothing about the twist of my lips that felt as evil as me. The smile was one of anticipation. How would she react?

"Your soul is very different from my former master's. They would have to be. While seasoned with much the same spice, you have yet to take a life. Yet to have your revenge. Those things will change the way you taste to me." Her eyes never left mine and I found myself slightly disappointed in the lack of horror. "There is nothing that I can compare them to that will allow you to experience what I do after consuming one."

"Of course." She said and I will admit, her smile surprised me. "So, you have tasted mine."

"Only the barest bit. And I can really only tell you that yours is far more delicate than his." I could still remember the hint of her soul in her blood. The glistening crimson that covered my hands as I sealed our contract was a delicacy that I couldn't resist. The warmth of her body giving rise to the notes of her life. The joy, the loneliness. The happiness, the fear. So much fear. Rage. Helplessness. Despair.

The notes and spices of the finest red wine, the complexity would be the only comparable thing, and even that would leave the wine as bland as desert sands.

"Delicate?" Her question roused me from my memories.

"Indeed, my Lady." I almost stopped the light bit of laughter the sight of her furrowed brown. "However, that in no way means less." Had I insulted her? Most women preferred to be 'delicate'.

Perhaps she would intrigue me as much as my young Lord.

She looked away and I found myself… missing… that direct gaze.

"Delicate." This was not directed at me and I remained silent. "I wonder, was that what everyone believedofme?"

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

Delicate.

The way noble women were brought up. Dainty. Fragile. So very breakable.

Things would be different now, for as long as I lived, anyway. The life of leisure was no longer mine. I had an estate to run, with the help of my impeccable butler. I had revenge to plan for. I couldn't, no, I wouldn't, laze away the days.

This was my world now.

Hold tight to my purpose. Use it to move forward. One person at a time. Slay them all. Then, I could rest eternally.

"Sebastian, what does it feel like to take a life?" Where did this morbid curiosity come from?

There was that sound again, as if he only stopped himself from laughing. I didn't care enough to find out.

"Mistress, that is something I cannot tell you." That got my attention more than the almost laugh and I faced him. A twist of his lips was the only thing that showed humor.

"Please don't tell me you won't because you are under the mistaken impression that I am some wilting flower."

"No, my Lady, that I wouldn't do. I shall put forth every effort in answering anything that you may wish to ask. It matters not to me if the answer be the desired one or not. I am your's to command and I will never lie to you. It's simply because I don't know. Humans are different. Some take pleasure from ending the lives of their brethren. Others abhor it, only finding it necessary in order for they themselves to survive. Some only do it for money, many for a country. Others let themselves be done away with, rather than doing what might be necessary at the time.

His smile grew wider. "I can tell you how it feels to me, but that information would be useless to you, as you are a human, and I am not."

Pleasure from killing.

Judging by the heat in my blood, simply by remembering that newspaper article, I felt that would be me.

The longing to end the ones responsible for destroying my husband, my family, my _child_ was nearly overwhelming. The only thing keeping it from sweeping me away was the need to know _how_ to do it.

I couldn't even cut bread.

But I would learn. And what would be a better time than the present?

"Sebastian."

The expression on his face changed, became expectant. Did he know I was about to give him his first command?

"This is an order. Teach me to kill."

A burning filled my abdomen, flames raging, excruciating, then gone. I looked down, my hands pressed to the place my unborn babe once lived.

Lifting my head, I met his glowing fuchsia gaze. His lips were still curved, but there was a gentleness in this. Solemnly, he knelt in front of me. "Yes, my Lady."

* * *

 **Sebastian**

* * *

She handled the pain better than I had hoped.

My choice of locations had changed since Lord Phantomhive. I had learned with him. Though what had happened with his contract was not his fault.

With her, my choice was simply to remind her, every time she gave me a command, of what she had lost. That might have been sadistic of me, but I felt it suitable. But then, I was supposed to be evil, wasn't I? The monster under the bed?

Though humans seemed to me far more evil than myself.

Lying, scheming, fighting each other for the most trivial things. Horrid beings. And these were supposedly God's children. They may be, but they were spoiled brats.

Ah, but this was not what I was supposed to be doing.

I rose and offered my arm.

She kept her eyes on mine, not moving. Did I perhaps make a mistake?

After a moment, she sighed and gave a bitter smile. Why bitter?

"You are going to be training me and yet you still seek to help me." She put her hand on my arm and rose.

"A Livingston butler who can't do that much isn't worth his salt," I said.

"Mm."

"Perhaps the ballroom, my Lady?"

"Fine."

The disinterest in locations brought a new smile. I could almost smell the longing in her. The desire to start preparing for the things to come. Yes, my violent Mistress would take great pleasure from ending these lives. That enjoyment would leave a mark on her soul, but I felt that once she had achieved her goal, it would hardly be noticeable. She would still be a soul to savor.

When we reached the ballroom, I removed my tailcoat. After placing it neatly over the seat of one of the chairs along the wall, I turned to her.

"In order to do this right, I would rather have you in pants. Since that is not an option, please forgive me for what I am about to do."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

She would see in a moment. This was but one dress out of many, with more that would be coming. She needed to be able to move freely.

Kneeling, I gripped the hem of her skirt and petticoats and ripped them. The material gave way with a satisfying sound and a sight of her slender leg. Repeating the same action on the other side, I stood and admired my handiwork. I would take note to discuss with the seamstress a method of making a dress of two with slit sides. But that would be later.

"Spin," I said and her brows met. "Please."

If this were to work, she would have to trust me, and for now, obey me.

Wordlessly, she did as I requested.

The skirt flew out around her, just as I wanted. Her legs would be mostly unhindered. What of her corset?

"By your leave." I said before moving around to her back. I would plan better for our next session. After unbuttoning the back, I ran my nail down the lacing of her corset. Tugging on the edges that disappeared beneath her petticoats, I watched as she took a deep breath. Perfect. I re-closed the back and turned her to face me.

"My Lady," I said and she turned toward me. "Please keep in mind that through the contract, I cannot kill you, though is may seem that way at times. You have no need to fear me."

"I think I have much to fear from you, Sebastian." She smiled again before lifting her head. "Now, teach me what I need to know."

"Very good."

* * *

 **Alanna**

* * *

Time was meaningless during the lesson. And such a lesson.

I learned with a small knife first, one that he said could be strapped to my ankle, or, provided I had long loose sleeves, it could he strapped to my wrist. A small movement would have it sliding into my palm and from there, into the flesh of my enemies.

At the beginning, I grew impatient with the instructions to flip the blade on my hand, over and over. From one to the other. The hilt in my palm, to the sharp metal against my skin. What did all of this teach?

"You have no idea what is going to happen in a fight." He said when I grew vocal with my irritation. Grabbing my wrist, he smiled. "How can you cut into the one holding you now?"

 _Ah!_ A moment of revelation.

A slight toss and I held the knife in my free hand and lunged for him. That half laugh sound filled my ears as he disappeared.

"Now, that is not fair, my Lady. If I can't hurt you, then why do you wish to hurt me?" His voice came from behind me and I spun, blade out.

"I am studying you. You say I won't know what is going to happen, well, if I watch you, won't I learn?"

"No, Mistress. You see, I am not human." He approached me and took my hand, the one holding the knife, and held it up to his heart. "This won't kill me. You could cut me a thousand times and while it would be… uncomfortable, I would walk away."

"I see." I dropped the knife. "Is there a way to learn about humans?"

"Well, I could hire a trainer, but your skills would suffer from it. So, my piece of advice would be to watch the eyes. They will tell you more about the opponent's moves than anything. They give so much away."

I nodded. "Fine. Please continue."

He studied me as I followed every instruction he gave. I tried to be as quick as he with spitting out directions, though I felt as if I were failing miserably. Soaked in sweat, I was trembling when he finally stopped.

"Perhaps tea?" He asked, ripping a strip of petticoat to wrap around my hand. My grip slipped from sweat and my blood was the punishment.

"No. Continue." I said, standing straight and tried not to let my fatigue show.

That insolent smile appeared as he told me to spin while shifting the knife behind me.

The weight of the skirts was my excuse as my leg gave out. The floor rushed up to me before arms caught me and held me softly.

"Tea, my Lady." He said. "You can't fight when you can't stand. Unless, you are trying to deny me my payment."

He was gentle as he helped me to stand.

"Point taken, Sebastian. We will resume this later."

"Such a strong spirit." His voice was low and I don't think he meant for me to hear it. Either that or the admiration that laced the words.


End file.
